Life is a big word . It has it’s ups and downs but when you look at the BIG picture , God made it , he made it for a reason and there is a reason you are in it. It is hard, yes I wont argue with that comment , unlike other comments . Ha ha , if you know me you know that is a true statement , XD . Anyways , I don’t know why all this came to my head tonight , we went to my MawMaw’s and when we left I was riding in the truck with Mama , I was being serious , I wasn’t laughing , I wasn’t smiling nothing . I don’t know why , then my Granny that died last year on March 20th came in my mind , I don’t know why , well then Mama rode by her house then more stuff came in my mind , I just got really upset just didn’t want anyone to see me weak , I just held my head up and sang music to get my mind off of it , well it didn’t work . The more I sang music the more I wanted to cry , so I stopped singing , well about that time my aunt came by in her car and Mama turned around and went to her house (which is my Granny’s old house) and we was sitting out in the truck talking to her and my uncle . Well I got to thinking again and I about cried but I held it in , I seen the washer and drier door open and I started to think of the days and nights that I seen Granny out there doing her clothes , then I looked in the window and I remembered her sitting there talking to me when I was little and how we would talk about anything while we was waiting on The Price Is Right to come back on , (: well then I started to remember how I got older and didn’t see her so much . Wish I would’ve to , I could’ve if I wanted to , I mean I wanted to but I didn’t and I don’t know why . I just feel like I didn’t spend my share of time with her , I feel like I should’ve spent more time with her . And man it kills me to know I didn’t . ): No one knows how much it kills me . And then the last time I saw her before she died I don’t even remember if I told her I loved her . That is the thing that kills me the most . Even if I did I still want her here , I want her back where I can hug her and tell her I love her and hear her tell me she loves me . ):
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