Courtney;; February 13, 1997 - June 27, 2011

Baby girl;
I don't get why it had to be you. Never have and never will. Courtney you was like my sister and I want to see you one last time. Baby girl I was wanting see you this summer. You've been on my mind 24/7 this whole summer and I've been wanting to see you and make MORE memories with you. Now it sucks because it has to be at the cemetery. I don't want to do anything. I truly wanna stay in my room 24/7 and never leave. I've seen you 5 or 6 times since everything happened. Everything has gone wrong since all this crap happened. Gosh I hate it Courtney. I wish I could snap and you be back here. I hate everything right now. I don't want anything to go wrong anymore but every time I turn around everything is going down hill. I have a little journal I write in every day. I've missed 4 days since the funeral and 2 days before the funeral. I'm so depressed and I won't let it show. I turn everything into anger and I hate it but that's how I am. You know that. You know me more than anyone in this world. Now I feel lost because my backbone is in half. Not only that. My heart is pieces; the pieces are in pieces. I feel weird anywhere now. I just wanna be alone 24/7 and everyone thinks I need to get out but I don't want to. I wanna be alone away friends. I know if I go somewhere something will remind me of you and I'll get down and hate the time I'm with people. I fake smiles when people are around. I hate to but I hate letting true emotions show. Everyone seems okay with everything now, but I'm not. I don't know how to move on and no amount of medicine or people or care or anything will ever help me with any of this. I just need music, memories, alone time, peace, and knowing you here. No one gets it Courtney. No one:( I wish I could go back to June 17, 2011 and invite you to the house two weekends from that so you would still be here. I love you! You will ALWAYS be Aunt Courtney to my kids. I'ma tell them all about my best friend/sister. Sooner or later I'ma find out how to tell Bobby. I can't really find the words to describe you right now. I end up crying. Like now. But baby girl I know you're happy in heaven with Alex and Jordan and you and Alex singing to Jordan playing y'alls favorite song on the guitar. RiPbAbYgIrL. Gone but NEVER fOrGoTtEn<3 You always gonna be my #1 little sister<3
Love,
Your big sister;
Hannah <3

CEE*&&*HLW;;bff*&&*bsf<3
Courtney E. Evans *&&* Hannah L. West;; best friends forever *&&* best sisters forever<3